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Bruce Joker

Tim Curry's voice is sexier than it has any right to be.

Posted on 2008.03.27 at 03:15
Current Location: MHC
Current Mood: a special kind of horny
Current Music: "Toxic Love," obviously
What? I need to say more? He makes pollution sound hot for crying out loud!

Bruce Joker

New Rules!!!

Posted on 2007.08.31 at 04:38
Current Location: Does it really matter anymore?
Current Mood: nauseatednauseated
Current Music: The voices in my head telling me NOT to kill badfic authors
All you Harry Potter fanfic authors who wish to pair ANYONE with Professor Dolores Umbrige (yes, all four of you), PLEASE WARN FIRST!!! Judging by the challenge, I thought the fanfic in question, which I shall not name here, was going to be a nice, completely normal Snape fic! Part of my soul actually died. I thought I was just going to be violently ill, but it was a piece of my soul leaving this now tainted body. That is all. Thank you for your cooperation.

Bruce Joker


Posted on 2007.08.30 at 00:38
Current Location: Dixieland for a few more days
Current Mood: nervousnervous
Current Music: "Iris" by the Goo-Goo Dolls
Watch out world, I'm going solo! Not permanently, of course. I couldn't deprive my dear rosencrantzgirl of any serious NC-17 action. ;-)

Title: Porcelain
Author: comrade_sir
Pairing: J/W
Rating: PG-13, for a bit of sexuality
Warnings: This is a fair deal darker than my last entry. It's a psych-fic.
Disclaimer: If they're still not shagging in canon, they're still not mine.
Summary: Jeeves is the perfect valet, but at what cost? Third-person omniscient character sketch thingummy. I don't know what in Dante's nine circles this is, actually. Begins during The Inimitable Jeeves and jumps to Right Ho, Jeeves before becoming my own situation. Not necessarily Wodehousian in tone-more like comrade_sir-ian.

He supposed Sir Roderick Glossip would call him a sociopath. Jeeves called himself a valet.Collapse )

Bruce Joker

Mr. Wooster and the Toy Shop

Posted on 2007.04.11 at 22:14
Title: Mr. Wooster and the Toy Shop
Authors: rosencrantzgirl and comrade_sir
Pairing: Jeeves/Wooster
Rating: NC-17
Length: Long
Disclaimer: Jeeves and Wooster belong to the late, great P.G. Wodehouse. If they belonged to me, they would have done this at the end of "Tie That Binds." (comrade_sir with consensus from rosencrantzgirl)
Summary: Bertie and Jeeves wind up at a "specialty" shop. Many things ensue.

I am going to give you satisfaction, sir.Collapse )

Bruce Joker

FernGully Fic!

Posted on 2007.04.10 at 01:22
Current Location: Hexxus City, home sweet home
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: "Darts of Pleasure"-Franz Ferdinand
Alrighty, this fic is written as a diary. Specifically, the diary belongs to Hexxus, just because I think there should have been more to him than what was shown.

Title: Diary of a Spirit of Destruction
Rating: PG-13, or "T" (for language and violent imagery, you pervs!)
Disclaimer: Nothing that has anything to do with FernGully belongs to me, although I wish something to do with Hexxus (i.e. Tim Curry's voice) did.

One loses track of time after being stuck in a tree for years and years on end.Collapse )

Bruce Joker

First Post! YAY!!!

Posted on 2007.04.10 at 01:04
Current Location: here
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: "Rose Tint My World" from Rocky Horror

So...I figured I should post a little rundown of my livejournal stuff before I start posting fanfic, just to see how everything works. Just so everyone knows, this journal will mostly be devoted to very adult Jeeves/Wooster fanfic. There will perhaps be some Harry Potter, and maybe some Phantom of the Opera as well. You can pretty much guarantee that everything will be SLASH. Yes, I am a slasher. 

Exceptions: If I write Hunchback of Notre Dame fic, it WILL be a Frollo/Esmeralda pairing. I'm also planning on writing a FernGully fic. There will not be pairings, as my favorite characters are Hexxus and Batty and, well...ewww. Noncorporeal beings and animals do NOT need to go together... 

...which brings me to my first rant: 

WHY DO FANFIC AUTHORS INSIST ON PAIRING THINGS WITH NO GENETALIA?! Has anyone else witnessed this phenomenon? Why do they think I want to read about the romantic entanglements of Winnie the Pooh characters? Why would Ron/Draco/Harry/whoever get so sexually frustrated that the Giant Squid and the Whomping Willow sound like good bedfellows? Why must Snape use pancakes to masturbate at the breakfast table? Since when do school subjects (i.e. Math and English) get to get laid? Yes, I have seen all of these things happen, and yes, a little part of my sould dies every time that I do. 

Now, if you are one of those people who writes this stuff, could you please explain why? They say that humans most fear what they don't understand. Well, I don't understand, and I am very, very afraid. Perhaps a little enlightenment could help me to get over my squicks. This also goes for all mpreg and necrophilia fics. I just want to know what is appealing. Virtual Chef Jeff cookies to anyone who can persuasively explain the appeal to me. For those who don't know, Chef Jeff cookies (from Mount Holyoke College) are about the size of the human head. So if you want a virtual one, explain mpreg, necrophilia, non-genitaled character pairings...oh, and anything involving, ahem, "bathroom activities." 

Well, that's my fanfic rant! You may see a few of these because I like to read fanfic summaries when I am not studying my butt off. Yes, I am that big of a nerd. 

Until next time, 

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